My bariatric team said they don’t approve of food funerals. Their argument was that there is no food that you need to stop eating, that I will only now eat it in small amounts.

This attitude scares me. It scares me that they have no understanding of overeating, trigger foods or the grieving process. How can they be in charge of obese patients and teach weight loss when they miss such major pieces.

I realize that after I am recovered from surgery I can eat 1/2 cup or a cup of popcorn. But what I will no longer be able to do is to enter a cinema, purchase a bucket of popcorn and munch slowly for the entire length of the film. To me, doing this one more time, embracing it, while saying goodbye to it, while imaging myself 100 pounds lighter, eating a small cup of popcorn…. well, quite frankly It is working for me and others. I find it to be proper grieving. I find it a respectable funeral. I walked out of the cinema happy and looking forward to the future.

It works for me.

I gave dairy a funeral and have been happily dairy free for months.(I’m borderline lactose intolerant). I gave my favorite fried chicken a funeral and pizza.

And each week as I have shopped,  I find more veggies in my cart, less junk and I find myself more prepared for hunger pangs. And I carry a water bottle.

I did not become fat from food alone. I got fat from eating too much in patterns of overeating; finishing off the pizza, eating those last pieces of chicken in the bucket, might as well finish off all the cookies in the bag, etc. I am not fat because of chicken, cookies and pizza.Lots of skinny people eat those. It’s how I ate those. It’s the process and context of my eating them.

Again, what the team doesn’t understand is that I’m not saying goodbye to the actual food, I’m saying goodbye to the process and context that surrounds the food.

In the end, I have learned that the team is not going to provide me with real life advice, only book learned advice. I have learned that real life advice is on the boards, reading blogs of people who have been there, done that, and got passed it.



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