In one week I begin my preop diet. In three weeks I will be rolled into surgery where they will remove most of my stomache and should all go well, my life with change entirely. I have not shared this news with the current people around me yet. I walk silently amongst them, knowing that all will change soon. I do not feel compelled to share this upcoming change with them.
I don’t want them to interfere. I don’t know that they will support me. I don’t know that they will care about me enough to set their own goals aside to let me have mine.
In short, I don’t know who really cares about me. Well, that’s not entirely true, a few do a bit. My solitairiness drives me to neglect my worry about attitudes. I realize no one is seated in my sideline, so what I do has little matter.
I may as well blast Led Zepplin and dance away in actual professional ballet slippers and a short skirt and tatered old tee. Thinking no one cares, brings a freedom that I will embrace passionately.